Down to earth Reginald Plumb

Reginald Plumb had always loved old-fashioned Exeter with its weary, witty waters. It was a place where he felt stable.

He was a down to earth, ruthless, port drinker with dirty eyes and curvy eyebrows. His friends saw him as a knowing, kooky knight. Once, he had even revived a dying, old man. That’s the sort of man he was.

Reginald walked over to the window and reflected on his beautiful surroundings. The hail pounded like boating gerbils.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Dolly Willis. Dolly was a sympathetic lover with red eyes and wobbly eyebrows.

Reginald gulped. He was not prepared for Dolly.

As Reginald stepped outside and Dolly came closer, he could see the shivering glint in her eye.

“I am here because I want Internet access,” Dolly bellowed, in a brave tone. She slammed her fist against Reginald’s chest, with the force of 9255 frogs. “I frigging love you, Reginald Plumb.”

Reginald looked back, even more lonely and still fingering the ribbed gun. “Dolly, you must think I was born yesterday,” he replied.

They looked at each other with active feelings, like two chilly, cloudy cats drinking at a very cowardly Christening, which had reggae music playing in the background and two brutal uncles shouting to the beat.

Reginald regarded Dolly’s red eyes and wobbly eyebrows. He held out his hand. “Let’s not fight,” he whispered, gently.

“Hmph,” pondered Dolly.

“Please?” begged Reginald with puppy dog eyes.

Dolly looked fuzzy, her body blushing like a breezy, blue-eyed book.

Then Dolly came inside for a nice glass of port.THE END